What's around the bend?

Day 17:

To keep the boredem at bay I use a book in my class that contains historical fiction stories. The students take turns reading aloud. We don't read pop-corn style because I feel it would disrupt the flow of the story, instead, the reading pattern follows the rows the students are seated in.

Today as we read about Attila the Hun and his attacks on the Roman Empire I kept noticing that while some were reading there were others that were counting the number of classmates ahead of them, and then began to turn the pages as they counted paragraphs. I'm pretty sure these counters were looking ahead to see if they would have to read, and if so, to see which paragraph would be theirs.

At first I was baffled as to why this mattered. But then I think I got it.

I wanted to tell them to pay attention and follow along, but for a brief moment I couldn't help but relate.

I don't know a single person that likes it when life drops down surprises, and I'm not talking about parties or presents. There just seems to be something about not knowing what the future holds that makes us uneasy.

Will she say 'yes'?
Will they accept our offer on the house?
What if the cuts include me?

These questions make us nervous. These questions set the butterflies free - they cause us to sweat a bit.

So to cope we look as hard as we can into the near future in an effort to anticipate, to see if we'll have to brace for the impact. We try to prepare for what may come.

The worst part is the not the knowing.

Today, as my students counted paragraphs, I learned that not knowing is not easy.
I learned that no matter how hard to we try to prepare, it doesn't alleviate the scare.
I learned that if given a chance we'd opt to take a glance to see if it'll be good or bad, happy or sad.

Today I learned that perhaps we need to learn to live more in the now.
Perhaps we need to take the future as it comes.
For if we anticipate what may come with too much accuracy, its arrival may come without a wow.